Driving past a church a couple of weeks ago, I read the above advice on their marquee. Not only is this good advice for the folks of the church and surrounding community, it is also great advice for divorcing couples. So many divorces today spend much time, energy and money on throwing dirt; pointing a finger at the bad decisions and behaviors of each other. What is actually accomplished when you throw dirt? Let’s place you outside in the mud and see. First, you get dirty. Each time you throw dirt at the other, you run the risk of getting dirty too – dirty hands, windblown dirt in your face and on your clothes. It is impossible to think you can throw dirt at someone and not “get dirty in the doing.” Second, you lose ground. As you are bending down in the dirt continually throwing handful after handful, you will eventually find you have dug yourself into a hole. When you dig a hole for yourself, it is very hard to dig yourself out. Often times divorcing couples are so angry, frustrated and scared they do not think about how their own actions are being viewed by their friends, family, children, attorneys (their own and the opposing counsel) and the judge. So, before you throw dirt, stop and think about what your behavior is saying about you.